“And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.” – Mark 9:42
In this article I will addresses the sensitive subject of sexual abuse. There are many people – innocent children, as well as unsuspecting adults – who have been, or may now be, the victims of sexual abuse. The victims desperately cry for help, but because of fear imposed upon them by their abusers or molesters, they often find themselves ever sinking deeper into an abyss of helplessness. There are many who are murdered by their abusers, or die as a result of the repeated abuse. Still, there are other victims who feel that they are worthless and suicide is the only way out. So, what is this horrific “monster” known as sexual abuse?
The following is my personal account of sexual abuse:
Sexual abuse is a worldwide epidemic which does not discriminate against any person regardless of age, race, religious beliefs, or even gender. Both men and women, children as well as adults, old and young, can and do become victims of sexual abuse.
I was sexually molested by my father who was a Baptist pastor at the tender age of 3 years old. The abuse continued until I was 14. Being a pastor’s daughter I was forced to put on facades and act like everything was alright. At the age of 12, I started to smoke weed, but it didn’t stop there. By the age of 14, I had become a full-blown drug addict. I covered up all the pain that I felt from being sexually molested by using drugs.
At the age of 14, my father kicked me out of his house, and I became prey to a pimp. Having been used as a sex object since the age of 3, it all seemed natural to me. I lived that promiscuous lifestyle for many years, jumping in and out of relationships with men who were older than myself. I felt that if I was being touched sexually, then I was being loved. I was taught to look for love in all the wrong places which is insanity at it’s best. I went on for years living that way until I absolutely hit rock bottom.
I am pleased to report that I have been clean and sober for the past six years. I have also become a licensed Addictions Counselor. And I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently referred to as the “Mormon” Church by the media and others) for three years, having been baptized on 26 March 2011.
I am not going to tell you that everything is really great because I still have nightmares, memories, and flashbacks about being molested. I highly recommend that anyone who is reading this and can identify with my story in one form or another should seek professional help through a State Certified Therapist. Also, if you have been a victim of sexual abuse in the past and are now married and unable to have a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse, it may be due to the distasteful “intimate” relationships that you experienced that cause you to fear having intimate relationships with another person.
When someone sexually abuses another person, the scars from that abuse last a lifetime. Sexual abuse affects every aspect of the victims life. I can eventually forgive my father for what he did to me, but I can’t ever forget about what happened. Some people may take the attitude, “Oh just forget about it,” but I can tell you that is easy for them to say that because they do not comprehend the lasting effects that sexual abuse has on a person’s life.
I hope that I have shed some light on this sensitive subject for those of you who are struggling with something similar to the experiences that I have had.
Karylin Stebbins’ Biography:
Karlyn Kay Stebbins is a guest writer for Morsels Of Bread. She is an addictions counselor and works in a drug rehabilitation center. She has a double major in Sociology and Psychology, and a minor in Communications. She is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, having been baptized on 26 March 2011. Her hobbies are reading and writing. She also enjoys spending time with her son and his friends. She is also the Founder of The Conqueror Foundation and has a blog called “Reflection Pays” where she shares her insights.