I wish to discuss the subject of living in the world as a single adult. Single adult in this particular case refers to those of us who are 30 years of age and older. Some of us have never been married, others are divorced, and for others, their spouse has passed on.
Some may agree with what I am about to say, and some may totally disagree. Some may even be aggravated or even irritated by the following remarks, and so at the offset, I humbly apologize if I offend anyone’s feelings or sensitivities as that is not the intent of this treatise. Nevertheless, I strongly believe that someone needs to take a stand and speak up and dispel some of the myths that some people seem to believe about single adults.
I will begin by speaking about the family. Just because there are those of us who are single adults, it does not follow that we do not have a family. In fact, each of us is the product of a family – we are the sons and daughters of mothers and fathers, and unless we are the only child in the family, we are also the brother or sister of another sibling or other siblings. Like those who are married, there are many of us who have great demands placed on our time by our families. There are times when we, as single adults, are called upon to put aside other things and give our families our full undivided attention. Therefore, we should not be looked down upon, frowned upon, or treated as being selfish or indifferent for making our families our top priority simply because someone else thinks that there are more important things that we should devote our time and attention to. Our families are just as important to us as single adults, as everyone else feels their family is to them.
With that being said, I would like to dispel the myth that those who are married and perhaps have families of their own, are far more busy than any single adult could ever imagine. First of all, I believe that before a person makes such a rash statement, he really needs to walk a mile in the moccasins of a single adult. May I also say, that oftentimes people who accept this myth as truth, have perhaps long since forgotten what it was like to live the life of a single adult.
We who are single adults are just as busy, and in some instances, even busier than some who are married and have families of their own. May I also bring to the forefront the often forgotten and overlooked fact that there are many single adults who are single moms and single fathers who are doing the best they can to take care of their families. Furthermore, there are many single adults who work two (and I personally know some who are working three) jobs to make ends meet. Therefore, as single adults we are putting as many hours into the day as anyone else. Our schedules are also full and demanding with all the things that we need to do in a day’s time. And so, I would also like to dispel the myth that as single adults we somehow magically have an overabundance of free time. I can almost guarantee you that a majority of single adults will tell you that nothing could be further from the truth. We do not have as much free time as some people seem to think that we have.
Whereas those who are married are often blessed to have the help in their home from father, mother, and children to get things done, we as single adults carry the burden of completing daily tasks – more times than not, ALONE. We have to clean our houses, do the grocery shopping, pay the bills, run the errands, and work at our jobs, the same as everyone else. Some single adults, as I have mentioned, also have the added responsibility of raising and nurturing children. At the end of our day we are just as tired and exhausted as anyone else. Therefore, I implore you to please forgive our trespasses if we should sometimes want to have a little “me” time to do some of the things that we enjoy doing, or to lay on our couches with our feet propped up and enjoy a movie or a sports game on television, or even close our eyes and get a little rest. Please forgive us for being so selfish to even think that we are so deserving of such “luxuries” in life.
Furthermore, just because we are single adults, it does not imply that we are everyone’s pack mules or beasts of burden. Just because we are single adults, it does not imply that we should always be the ones to have to burden the “lion share” of the load. Our wagons should not always be the ones that are weighed down because others feel that they can use us to lighten their load, which in turn makes our load even heavier. As single adults, we also need someone to help lighten our load at times.
May I close and emphatically state that we, as single adults, are first, human beings. If we cut ourselves, we bleed. If we are upset, we cry. We are prone to get irritated, frustrated, aggravated, and angry at times. We have the same feelings, the same emotions as everyone else. Life in general, at times, is no fairer to us as single adults than it is to anyone else. We face trials and temptations. We sometimes carry heavy burdens. We face the same fears and challenges that many others face in life, with the big difference being that as single adults we oftentimes face all of our fears and challenges – ALONE.
To learn more about the work that Matt Townsend does as a communications and relationship expert, go to: Matt Townsend: Learning how to create healthy, smart, lives now!